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Maturity. Preparing for marriage.
How to prepare for a wedding? Love moves our hearts and brings us together in marriage. Get married and live in a happy marriage. But first you must prepare yourself for family life. To be more precise. You need to become a mature person. Maturity is not determined by a person’s age. I know many men and women over forty years of age. But they are still in their teens. They are stuck at this age. Looking at them you think: well, they seem to be adults. Speaking of adolescence in adults. I’m talking about how they act in certain situations.
Maturity. First sign.
Maturity manifests itself in making decisions on an emotional level. A mature person controls his emotions. There are situations when decisions are made in an excited state. Then they bitterly regret it. If you are guided by your feelings and act according to your mood, then, unfortunately, very serious and big problems await you. Feelings can be deceiving. And you take lies for reality. People tend to listen to what they want to hear rather than what is actually happening. And they drive themselves into illusions that will sooner or later be broken by reality.
A mature person sets the right priorities.
I remember one married couple. She divorced because her husband did not pay enough attention to his family. He was a great guy. Always responsive and always ready to help. Everyone always praised him, spoke well of him. His problem was that he spent a lot of time and attention on others. But not his wife and daughter. The problem is that he misplaced his priorities. Always and everywhere the main thing should be the Lord God. In the family, the main place should be occupied by the Lord God. Husband, then wife, then children. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have friends. They must come for the family. In the first place is the Lord God, then the husband, then the wife, then the children, and only then friends, work and everything else.
Maturity. Second sign.
Maturity is not determined by age or number of achievements. Immature is defined in an inferiority complex. He is trying to show his worth. That he’s worth something. An immature person wants to show or prove to everyone how cool and important he is. He decorates himself with expensive toys and achievements. For showing. A characteristic feature is wearing a mask. Behaves unnaturally. It’s different in different places. This is due to the fact that he has very low self-esteem. And you don’t need a partner to create a family life. And in order to make up for the shortcoming that they assess in themselves. They need a partner to improve their status. To elevate yourself. Immature people always have a competitive spirit.
Maturity. In self-sufficiency.
For example, someone calls you a fool, you will react negatively. What if you were told that bananas grow on your head? You’ll think he’s joking and smile at him. You know that’s not true. What happened in the first and second cases was not reality. But you thought about it and underestimated yourself. You put yourself down out of guilt or resentment. Allow negative thoughts to take over your mind. When people talk bad about you. You will immediately want to fight back. If you are watching something like this. Then you will have to deal with yourself. And accept yourself as God created you. After all, He created you special, amazing and unique. You need to love yourself the way the Lord God loves you. Just ask Him to show you His Divine love and fill you with His love.
Maturity. Sign three.
The next and probably the most important problem for immature people. This is an aspect expressed in egoism. When a person considers himself the center of the universe, and everything revolves around him. An immature person lives only for himself. He has a consumerist attitude towards everything. It doesn’t matter how things are around him or what kind of relationships develop around him. The main thing is that everything is fine with him. But the problem is that every time. The circle of relationships will become narrower and narrower. Until it narrows. Until he’s left alone. And he will hate himself. Unfortunately. Thinking that he is the master of his life, he is mistaken, considering himself just a consumer of his life.
A mature person has the relationship of a gardener.
There are two types of relationships: consumer and gardener. The consumer only uses it and throws it away after use. He never cares, never grows up, never strives for a long-term relationship. For example, when he sees a beautiful flower, he pulls it out. After sniffing and enjoying the aroma, he throws it away. As for the gardener. He is patient and caring. Grows a flower with tenderness. Encourages, builds long-term relationships. He doesn’t uproot it, but carefully cuts it off so that next year it will bloom even better.
Your journey into maturity.
To get rid of the vice of selfishness. Man must give his throne to the Lord God. Ask the Lord God to become the Master of life. Because the Lord God knows in advance what we need for our lives. God has three wills for us. The first one is good. The second one is acceptable. The third is perfect. The first is when everything is fine with us. The second is when we live in a calling and are happy. The third is perfect, everything works out perfectly in our life. But for this, God must be our Master of life.
The mature one submits to the Lord God.
For example. They talked about what happiness is. One woman said that she worked as a taxi driver. The drunk man was put in a taxi and they said goodbye to him. She drives and thinks about her life, how lonely she is. A thought comes to her mind. A man without a master. That the good is gone. Without thinking for a long time, she jumped into the back seat. Since then she has been the happiest woman in the world. But for some reason, when she told me… I didn’t see joy in her eyes. Afterwards I noticed that she was very worried and worried. When my husband called. And it was not difficult to guess. That her husband is still homeless. And that he has no Master of life. That’s why he walks left and right.
The point is not maturity.
Now about the essence of the problem. Three signs of immaturity. The only thing that unites is fear, fear. Because of the fear of not being accepted and rejected, people fear for themselves and their lives. And they are focused on themselves. Because fear conquers the human mind. Fear controls people’s thoughts, minds and lives. Fear does not allow a person to think sensibly and reason soberly. Fear makes a person stupid. A person lives in restrictions due to fear. Within some framework, templates.
Maturity manifests itself in freedom.
Not at large. I mean real freedom, not permissiveness. Freedom to express and show your love. People are full of doubts and mistrust because fear prevents them from crossing the line. Because of which they remain at the teenage level. Although by age they should have been mature people long ago. Question: How is maturity determined? Maturity is determined by how we receive and solve problems that arise in our lives. The way you deal with problems and solve them shows how mature you are.
Your actions determine your maturity.
Maybe when a problem arises, you run to your parents. To ask for help in solving a problem. Because you have never been faced with such a task. Well, if not to parents, then to acquaintances and friends. You remember your connections and try to find a solution with someone’s help. Or you take responsibility and try to solve the problem yourself. Perhaps you are hiding from problems, thinking that over time they will solve themselves. And every day you put it off until later. Or you want to solve a problem, but you are overcome by doubts and fear that it will not work.
The essence of not maturity is separation.
You may want to do it mentally because sooner or later you will have to do it. But deep down you are not ready to do this. And you do not have inner harmony of spirit and soul. Intellectually you want, but internally you are not ready. Or vice versa, you internally want to, but the mind resists and does not want to leave the comfort zone. And all because you do not agree with yourself. James wrote, “He who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.” Let such a person not think of receiving anything from the Lord. An ambiguous person is not firm in everything. Doubt is the fruit of fear that stops you. But there is a wonderful antidote to fear — love.
Love casts out fear.
John wrote: there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because in fear there is torment. He who is afraid is not perfect in love. Therefore, you should be filled with the perfect love of God and not be afraid or worry about yourself. And think and worry about others. You will be able to replenish the spiritual, emotional and material part of a person close to you. When you are filled with God’s love. You will display the amazing qualities that Paul described.
Maturity manifests itself in love.
If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but do not have love, then I am a ringing brass or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries, and have all knowledge and all faith, so that I can remove mountains, but do not have love, then I am nothing. And if I give away all my property and give my body to be burned, but do not have love, then it does me no good. Love is patient, merciful, love does not envy. Love is not lofty, not proud, not outrageous. He does not seek his own, is not irritated, does not think evil. He does not rejoice in untruth, but rejoices in the truth. Covers everything, believes everything. He hopes for everything, endures everything. Love never ends.
The mature one cooperates with God.
And every time you encounter problems, ask the Lord God to help you. Ask Him to cooperate with you. So that He will give you wisdom in every case. And do not rely on yourself and people, but rely on the Lord God in everything. And He will complete and help in all your ways. All glory and praise be to Him, Amen.
P.S:
Jeremiah 17:5 Thus says the Lord: Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, and whose heart is far from the Lord.